Text Messages from My Teenage Daughter: A Continuing Saga




She’s fourteen. She’s complicated. She’s an artistic, beautiful old soul. And she text messages me … constantly. I figured I’d make a little keepsake album that I’ll update weekly.

Enjoy … 

HORMONE-DRIVEN OVERGENERALIZATIONS:

  • I’m emotionally exhausted.
  • This day SUCKS. Can’t stop crying. I’m so mad. You have no idea. When I couldn’t see [due to power outage] I tripped and freakin rolled my ankle again. And I couldn’t see so I couldn’t do my hair, And when we got the power on it was too late so I look like crap. And I can’t find my hoodie, so I’m wearing one with a logo, so it will probably get taken up and I won’t have a jacket. And when I was getting in the car I tripped in a big puddle and got my pants wet. And I couldn’t open the door cause my hands were full and I crushed my poster in the door. And my song lyrics got wet and the ink is smearing. I’m so stressed.

MEDICAL EMERGENCIES:

  • I woke up with a terrible wheeze and cough. My nose is so congested. This is so irritating. I can’t sleep. I’m not supposed to wake up for another hour. My throat hurts really bad.

MOMMY’S LITTLE CYNIC:

  • This day is freaking useless. I’m sitting in the hallway while they take the test. That’s what I have to do next period, too.

MEDIA OBSERVATIONS:

  • Just saw a kitty litter commercial. It said “every granule is coated with baking soda”. BS.

ON GRAMMAR:

  • …like a cake, brownies, cookies, or something. (See my Oxford comma? I love my Oxford comma. It makes me so mad when people don’t use him. It’s just a plain lack of common sense. You don’t have orange juice, toast and milk. You have orange juice, toast, and milk. Otherwise you are a freak who likes soggy toast and crumbly milk.

POLITICAL OBSERVATIONS:

  • I need to take over the White House. — Everyone would be happier, and there would be more tacos.

CRIES FOR HELP:

  • Outside. Can’t get back it. Need you to unlock the door.

EDUCATION:

  • 105 on algebra test. (5 are the bonus points.) I’m so happy.

ON FRIENDSHIP:

  • [Friend] just texted me and told me that a kid in her English class fell out of his chair, everyone laughed at him, and he sat in the corner and cried. She asked me what she should do. In reply, I told her to get off her ass and help the kid. She said that it was harder for her than it was for me. Then she went in about how she wishes she would have done something. And she said how bad she felt. She just said that she wishes she could stand up for people like me. In which I replied: “You know what? It’s human nature. For some reason, I’ve been blessed with the ability to not care about what other people think of me. And honestly, that’s not natural. For most people, it’s a work in progress to get to the point where others’ feelings are more important than your own. And you are far ahead of most people. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You are a great Christian girl. But you have to WANT to help people. The ability isn’t just given to you.”

RANDOMNESS:

  • PO-TA-TOES. Boil em. Mash em. Stick em in a stew.
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One thought on “Text Messages from My Teenage Daughter: A Continuing Saga

  1. Ed Braddock says:

    I especially liked her text about ” Friendship ” . The things you failed to do , when you KNEW you should , are the ones that will haunt you with regrets . I have come to believe , that the voice you hear in your head , telling you to do , is the voice of your Angel , giving you an assignment from God . When you refuse His tasks , there is ALWAYS a price to be paid , that is more than what doing the task would have been . When you start to focus more on others , than on yourself , standing up for others becomes easier and leads to peace . Reagan just learned that early and is teaching others . The ripples of her actions and teachings will wash across the world – and back .

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