Coworker Takes a Stab at Writing My Bio

So, I have to write a bio for my band’s new website. There’s only one thing I hate more than photoshoots, and that’s writing about myself. Is there anything more self-absorbed … more egocentric? It’s not that I don’t feel my life is interesting; I

Technical Wizard Shane Bell

just don’t think it’s really that interesting to anyone else.

I first jotted down a brief, concise paragraph accurately summarizing my background, gifts, and interests, but then I saw the novels presented by my bandmates, and I now fear that my humble little box of words will come across as slacking.

As I struggle for the rest of the day to put something together worth reading, our show’s technical wizard Shane Bell decided to take a stab. Shane and I have been (virtually) alone in the control room, three hours a day, five mornings a week for the past three months. There’s an understandable kinship that develops from such consistent contact, especially since our jobs revolve around facilitating the opinion exchange known as the Mark Davis Show.

He rattled off the first things that came to his mind. I typed feverishly and refused to censor him. I think he was pretty honest, ignoring the occasional raise of my brow.

This was fun … and actually blessed me. If it appears self-congratulatory, I don’t care. I’ve had a rough week and this is as close to a spa day as I’m going to get.

**Readers: if you think I’m should be a candidate for “world’s worst person” and would like to submit your thoughts, feel free to leave a comment. I won’t delete it. Thanks, in advance, for your honesty … jerks.


Well-maintained, but not high-maintenance

Family oriented

Crazy-assed, God-fearing to the max

Striking beauty with fiery allure

Despises Sarah Palin

Afraid of the ocean

Prayerful and pensive


Refreshingly self-deprecating

Quick-witted and funny

Occasional potty mouth

Loves her fossil husband and happy that his junk still works

Effervescently distracting

Peculiar, but special

Native Texan

Specializes in mocking Ron Paul supporters

Seductive, yet conservative

Great mom

Classy, kindhearted, and fair

Doesn’t let a bad hair day get her down

Flexible … not physically, but the other way

Cute shoes. Accessorizes well

Whispers are as effective as her shouts

Brings color to everything she encounters


3 thoughts on “Coworker Takes a Stab at Writing My Bio

    • You got it backwards. The country musician I somewhat admire (for his musicianship, alone) often supports attitudes and ideals I completely reject. Hank Williams Jr. is a polarizing, disgusting propagandist that needs to stick to singing. He should leave the political commentary to those of us who actually take the time to form coherent thoughts.

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