The Saddest Day for Some–The Most Glorious for Others

One year ago, today, my cousin Beth received the most heartbreaking news a mother could receive. The child she was carrying–Tucker Jack Gilleland–who was due in just weeks, had died in her womb.

As I watched Beth and her husband mourn and grieve over the loss of their child, I was profoundly moved by Beth’s honesty. Honesty about her sadness. Honestly about her confusion. Even honesty about her anger.

It’s amazing how the most devastating day in the life of my cousin could also be the most glorious day in the life of her son. As she fought to understand how this tragedy could have occurred, Tucker was fighting to understand how any place could be so beautiful. As she held and clung to his precious little body, he held and clung to the hand of our precious Lord. As she cried endless tears and experienced seemingly unbearable pain, little Tucker walked in a place that never knew sadness. In fact, little Tucker never cried a single tear. Can you imagine? Not one tear. Not one ounce of sorrow.

On this anniversary of what we knew as an earthly tragedy, I celebrate the life of Tucker Jack Gilleland. He didn’t have to breathe one breath on this earth to teach us invaluable lessons about life, death, love, and family. He never once opened his eyes, but oh, how he opened ours.

Forget about resting in peace. PLAY IN PEACE, little Tucker! Your momma can’t wait to hold you again someday, and I’m looking forward to meeting you, too–my little brother in Christ.


An Oldie but a Goodie

My list of “Loves” that I originally posted November 1, 2006.

I love…

rainy nights,

bluegrass music

overcast days under 75 degrees

road trips

the Colts

my family

slabs of beef cooked medium-rare



socks that fit

ug boots

playing softball

playing racquetball

shooting hoop

listening to my son talk

hound dogs

riding horses

driving late at night with my windows down

smart people

snow skiing

the mountains

watching my kids play together

Bonnie Raitt

Jerry Douglas and a dobro

Rudy Giuliani

Shawshank Redemption

Clue (the movie)


the Rocky IV soundtrack

hot monitor mixes

my husband telling me I’m pretty

the Spurs

Stevie Wonder

The Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack


Hugh Grant


cotton panties

Mark Davis

Thanksgiving dinner

new bras

old houses




Diana Krall



Guinness beer

chili and Monday night football




going to church

playing guitar

furniture shopping

log cabins

If You Come to a Fork in the Road . . .

Soul searching is a delicate matter. It puts one in a vulnerable position. Sharing our dreams. Revealing our desires. Presenting our plans, (knowing good-and-well that they could change), and fearing that people will call us wishy-washy, or, at best, unresolved—it’s scary stuff, to say the least.

This is a transitional time for me. Or maybe it isn’t. Perhaps instead of launching some ridiculous quest, I should sit and wait for it to come to me, (whatever “it” is). Maybe I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. Regardless, I’ll be pressing forward and making the most of each day because my ultimate goal is this: to immerse myself in the unconditional love that my Savior has bestowed up on me, living each day to the fullest, and going to bed with as few regrets as possible.

That’s doable, right?

I know I’m being vague. That’s the beauty of it. Maybe there’s something you’ll read here that has particular relevance to the path on which you’ve found yourself. Whatever the road, even if they’re different, we can walk them together.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” –Proverbs 27:17